Sometimes you just need to talk to a four-year-old and an 84-year-old to understand life again. (Kristen Butler) I have been in a tug of war to write this article. It is easy to write when you have worked through your feelings, or when time has passed and healing has taken place. At this … Continue reading it’s okay if people don’t like you, most people don’t even like themselves
I am still learning to love the parts of me that no one claps for. (Rudy Francisco) I was listening to myself speak lately and I realised that I was carrying a lot of unspoken stress. The emotions that I felt caught me completely off guard and I wondered why I allowed my environment … Continue reading you can’t wake a person that is pretending to be asleep
I used to feel uncomfortable when people asked me why I am estranged from my family. It is difficult to explain a life-long struggle in a few sentences. How do you describe the rejection and the hurt? How do you share openly without being judged? People with strong relational families find it hard to understand. … Continue reading let go… or be dragged
“We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.” Kurt Vonnegut I have often been fascinated by people’s perspectives; the fact that two people can look at the same thing or event and experience totally opposite emotions. I have seen siblings growing up in the same … Continue reading don’t look at me in that tone of voice!
“Conscious aging is a new way of looking at and experiencing aging that moves beyond our cultural obsession with youth toward a respect and need for the wisdom of age” (Stephan Rechtschaffen, M.D.) I recently had the privilege of walking my daughter down the aisle. Two weeks later we were celebrating my son’s engagement. … Continue reading do not regret growing older ~ it is a privilege denied to many
I have always been a person with a to-do list. But there were many days when I became a slave to my lists. Things don’t always happen as planned and I would feel like a failure if I wasn’t able to cross out all the tasks that I allocated to a specific day. It … Continue reading a goal should scare you a little and excite you a LOT!
My family is in a good space at the moment. When I look back on the past seventeen years of being a single parent, I know that we are here by God’s grace. Nothing else. We had an eventful life, full of ups and downs, uncertainties and stress. Despite everything that happened, we survived. God … Continue reading Metanoia (n.) the journey of changing one’s mind, heart, self, or way of life
Self-harm and specifically cutting is a disturbing tendency – a growing addiction. Through caring counsellors God touches shattered lives and restores broken people to wholeness. Stories that spill from healing hearts are shared to bring hope to those suffering, and ultimately to glorify God. Continue reading the first cut
Those who receive face-to-face counselling at our Hope Centre are encouraged to write about their experiences. Stories that spill from healing hearts are shared on our blog to encourage and challenge others. Read snippets from the journal of a woman who describes herself as one of the walking wounded. Continue reading after abuse – the journey to self
It just happened. I woke up one morning and I had peace. It felt as if I knew myself, my personality and character. Thinking about my journey and how I got to that morning, I tried to connect the dots and realised that I couldn’t. The past was behind me. That was it. It … Continue reading cry a river. build a bridge. get over it.
When I started writing this article, my mind wandered off to my early twenties. I loved antique shops. I would spend hours touching the beautiful furniture and imagining the history and stories behind every piece. I really could not afford to buy any of these beauties, but soon found my way to the back … Continue reading re-frame obligation into conscious choices
I found personal happiness as a direct result of family conflict. The interaction left deep scars and I spent many years mourning the loss of my family and my relationships with them. It remains a questionable subject and not every person that I meet fully understands the extent of the consequences of my decision. Looking … Continue reading when you stay in your lane, there’s no traffic
When I selected this quote for the topic of my article, it immediately struck a chord in my heart. When I started the research to actually write about it, I took a step backwards to examine my heart. Why do I feel so strongly opposed to fake people? Something happened to me to establish a … Continue reading life is too short for fake butter, cheese or people
I often wonder about God’s story, how He created everything for a purpose. I also think about myself, my life, the choices I have made. I wonder if I even remotely fulfill the intentions He has for me. The past two weeks were grueling. I felt emotional pressure, time constraints, and work-related issues that needed … Continue reading As I unclutter my life, I free myself to answer the callings of my soul
I realised I was afraid of saying no because my biggest fear is rejection. I was afraid that every time I did this, I would disappoint someone, make them angry, hurt their feelings or, appear unkind or rude. (Chantalle Gerber) The secret path to self-destruction…I wish I knew the origin…the exact moment where we lose … Continue reading sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come
The voices often disguised themselves in confusion, especially when I had to make difficult decisions, life choices that would impact my future. The two voices are direct opposites. They contradict each other. Ego and intuition. Ego is defined as a person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance. Intuition is the ability to understand something instinctively, without … Continue reading do not confuse the voice of ego with that of intuition
I have often found myself at the crossroad. Decisions can be extremely liberating, or completely paralyzing. My heart seems to be very clear on the direction of my life, but my brain continually interrupts my progress. Arguments and alternative options. I want to make my decisions based on what my heart is saying without experiencing … Continue reading follow your heart, but take your brain with you.
She thought about truth. Her truth. She was battling to embrace the rumours – the gossip – that was tarnishing her name. She was suffering. The harsh words felt like a character assassination. She felt like her reputation was stolen from her. To make matters worse, the gossip about her was growing an audience. … Continue reading if it’s not your story to tell, you don’t tell it
I found it hard to sit down to write this article. I guess it is because I am experiencing the tension between being vulnerable (denying yourself daily), and being my own story teller. I am learning a lot about myself as I use this opportunity to write to you. I will attempt to articulate my … Continue reading life is more than a ‘like’ button
Life happens. We encounter realities despite the fact that we pursue the mystical perfect life. Perfection is the belief that if we live perfect, look perfect and act perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgement and shame. Brené Brown I realized that I had two choices. I could drown myself … Continue reading imperfection is a form of freedom
Relationship I love silence. Solitude. A place where I can connect with nothing, and with God. A sacred space where I can talk to my Father that I can’t see, but I can feel. A small circle where I can be influenced without saying a single word. But, this kind of relationship requires my presence. … Continue reading in His presence
It was way back in 1999 that I watched the Oprah Winfrey show and she spoke about gratitude. Here is the gift of gratitude. In order to feel it, your ego has to take a backseat. What shows up in its place is greater compassion and understanding. Instead of being frustrated, you choose appreciation. And … Continue reading gratitude
It was a defining moment. I remember looking at myself in the mirror. I knew that the brokenness was gone, I couldn’t see the hurt. I knew that my previous self had overstayed her welcome. She was leaving. It was a new experience for me. I had had no problem leaving people, belongings or dreams … Continue reading grace
But God’s forgiveness is unconditional; it comes from a heart that does not demand anything for itself, a heart that is completely empty of self-seeking. It is this divine forgiveness that I have to practise in my daily life. It calls me to keep stepping over all my arguments that say forgiveness is unwise, unhealthy and impractical. It challenges me to step over all my needs for gratitude and compliments. Finally, it demands of me that I step over that wounded part of my heart that feels hurt and wronged and that wants to stay in control and put a few conditions between me and the one whom I am asked to forgive. (Henri Nouwen) Continue reading forgiveness
I was stuck for two years. I was carefully wedged in-between a series of unfortunate events. It is no man’s land, a scary place. I did not know what God wanted to change in my life…how many parts He wanted to remove…what He wanted to renew… I did what I had to do to keep … Continue reading stuck
We don’t spend our time thinking about garbage, or waste containers for that matter, yet many women stay stuck in life, in limbo, because they are filled with emotional garbage – containers filled with self-criticism, self-beating, regrets and guilt. Garbage: things that are no longer useful or wanted and that have been thrown out : … Continue reading secrets
It is a crossroad. An intersection that I know well. A camping site where I wasted precious years of my life. The pivotal point of choosing between faith and fear. I waited. I cried. I felt offended. I was irritated with my circumstances. I held on to a myriad of grudges. When this did not … Continue reading crossroads
I loved my grandmother. She understood me – all of me. When my mom came down on me with sharp stinging words, she was the one that gave me a reassuring pat on the leg. When the dark clouds of my mom’s depression engulfed our home and I heard Strauss Waltzes coming down the driveway, … Continue reading taking time out
School holidays in our home were happy times. I allowed the children to build blanket houses underneath the dining room table and Lego cities all over the lounge carpet, tables and chair armrests. Days would go by with them playing, continuing their stories, army attacks and space missions. Then, out of the blue it would … Continue reading sanity
The Beginning We build our own prisons, and carry them around. We bang our heads against heavy bars, and silently cry out for help. Some manipulative moves force us to our knees and we become immovable objects, trapped in the misery of our circumstance. I felt like a caged bird. Trapped. Powerless. What does it … Continue reading powerless
We construct walls around ourselves and our secrets, disable our feelings for fear of being found out by others. It is the war within that causes the most damage. The lies we tell ourselves, the discord between our hurting hearts and the facade we keep to the outside world. It takes courage and despair to … Continue reading denial
There are days when I think back on those hopeless moments. Subtle reminders of despair. A smell or a sound will trigger an avalanche of memories, and in an instant I am aware of the brutal journey, the countless adjustments and realignments that brought me to this day. It is only now, standing on a … Continue reading awakening hope