heartprints

there are only two people you should aim to make proud in your life. 8-year-old you and 80-year-old you

I think I made the decision a long time ago, unintentionally, as a way to hold onto my true identity. I might have been under the age of eight. I remember a difficult evening and sharp words that lead me to my mirror.

My room had a blue oval mirror and next to it my father drilled in brass hooks for me to hang bags, scarves and long beads. It was a safe place for me to retreat into myself, writing in my journal and listening to music. I had complete freedom in my room and my mother allowed me to be myself in that space.

When I looked into the mirror that specific evening, I made a decision to follow my inner voice, to believe what my spirit told me to be true. A lot has happened since then and I have many stories tucked away in my conscious mind.

When I attended a function a few weeks ago, someone took a photograph of me while I was in a deep conversation with someone that I had seen twenty-seven years ago.

The photo reminded me of the little girl in the blue mirror, and I pondered about the many ways that I have changed.

”Contemplating integrity as a way of life is like deciding to leave your homeland and become a citizen of a new country: it involves a major identity.”

martha beck

I changed in ways that I never expected. There is a sense of purpose and a higher spiritual awareness that sometimes leaves me uncertain. I learned to embrace the transformation and are still in the process of navigating this specific stage on my journey to my eighty-year-old self.

The past few years taught me to embrace the unknown but also to find unity and connectedness in the world around me. There are so many days when my conversations with God centres around my questions about purpose. He is silent (I have become accustomed to His silence) but He shows me to spread His alignment to others.

I made a conscious decision to stay aligned with my true personal nature. Society no longer has power over me to inform me to do the right thing and to live in a certain way.

I had a similar experience this morning, someone said some sharp words that lead me back to this picture of myself. I intentionally went into my inner sanctum to find my own voice and waited for my spirit to tell me what is true.

I am only sixty years old, and I have twenty more years on this journey where I can grow. I will honour my personal nature; I will stay aligned with God and my spirit because the eighty-year-old me is growing into something entirely different. I hope I will be proud of her.