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pathfinder
The journey through mortality will take you all over the place. You’ll go through career phases, successes, and disappointments. You’ll love and hate, rage and plead, suffer and enjoy. It’s a long trip, and the terrain is spectacularly varied. The one thing that will never change is that always, in every single moment, your…
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die eulogy
eu·lo·gy a speech or piece of writing that praises someone or something highly, typically someone who has just died Mense sê die mooiste goed wanneer dit te laat is. Hoe sal ek weet hoe julle regtig oor my voel as julle dit sê oor bosse blomme en ‘n swygende graf. Sê my liewer nou sodat…
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onder engele
on rest… Come to Me Get away with Me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me – watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with Me…
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‘n tyd om weg te stap…
Every person has their own reality and their own story. By respecting that, you bring dignity to their lives. Dit beteken dat ek ‘n storie het, my eie realiteit. Om my waarheid te respekteer bring die sin van my lewe aan die lig. Dit maak alles beter. Sinvol. Vandag is net ‘n perfekte lentedag. I…
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grace
It was a defining moment. I remember looking at myself in the mirror. I knew that the brokenness was gone, I couldn’t see the hurt. I knew that my previous self had overstayed her welcome. She was leaving. It was a new experience for me. I had had no problem leaving people, belongings or dreams…
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journeys
Becoming our authentic selves, and knowing what that looks like, is a journey~ the longest we will ever take. 1 Augustus 2011 Vandag wil ek skryf oor journeys. En hoe ek die afgelope maande nog duideliker besef het wat ek nié wil doen nie. Dit is clarity. Ek wil nie my hoop op positiewe mense…
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memoirs van ‘n gebreekte hart
We cross our bridges as we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and the presumption that once our eyes watered. (Tom Stoppard) She was becoming herself and daily casting aside that fictitious self which we assume like a…
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eenkant
‘n dagboek inskrywing 15 June 2006 vandag is ‘n eenkant~dag woorde boelie mekaar op my tong om stilte op te soek is vir my ‘n lafenis. ‘n recharge. Solitude and Silence… It is in deep solitude that I find the gentleness with which I can truly love my brothers. The more solitary I am the…
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chronicles of an introvert
‘n dagboek inkrywing 1 Desember 2014 (en vandag) Dit is altyd ontydig. Dit kom op die dae wat jy bedremmeld rondstaan, met leë hande, leë hart, en geknoopte maag. I really, really need to be nicer, find the all illusive will to do better. Be grateful. Make sense. Find meaning. Just be a better person.…
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seisoene
5 augustus 2015 vandag is weer een van daái dae gedagtes draai wyd rafel om die rante en wikkel hulle self leeg als terwyl ek wonder of ek die skottelgoed wil was, of nié dis hoe dit is met seisoene as jy weer kyk is jy binne-in ‘n droogte en net voordat jy jouself toegrawe…
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stuck
I was stuck for two years. I was carefully wedged in-between a series of unfortunate events. It is no man’s land, a scary place. I did not know what God wanted to change in my life…how many parts He wanted to remove…what He wanted to renew… I did what I had to do to keep…
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anderkant die stilte
18 Junie 2009 Tyd. Stilstaan. Omdraai en weer begin. Terug na God. Terug na myself. Ek slaan my oë op na die berge, waar sal my hulp vandaan kom? Van die Here. Van Hom alleen. 4 Desember 2009 ek wou seker wees voordat ek op hierdie punt kom soos met ander groot besluite wat ek…
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secrets
We don’t spend our time thinking about garbage, or waste containers for that matter, yet many women stay stuck in life, in limbo, because they are filled with emotional garbage – containers filled with self-criticism, self-beating, regrets and guilt. Garbage: things that are no longer useful or wanted and that have been thrown out :…
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inspraak
Daar is insidente in mens se lewe wat jou onherroeplik verander. Ek het hardop met die Here begin praat iewers in 1999, Sy stem het my deur die donkerste van donker tye getrek. Here, Dankie dat u my ten spyte van alles nie vergeet het nie. As ek dan alles moet verloor om weer (of…
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weerskante
‘n joernaal inskrywing 18 April 2000 Sy stop terwyl ek wag om te betaal. Haar kar is effens verweerd, hy spring uit en hardloop na die agterkant van die kar. Sy sesjarige vingertjies begin die tou loswoel, sy ma klim uit…kaalvoet… Sy help hom om sy fiets uit die kattebak te haal en kyk hom…
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crossroads
It is a crossroad. An intersection that I know well. A camping site where I wasted precious years of my life. The pivotal point of choosing between faith and fear. I waited. I cried. I felt offended. I was irritated with my circumstances. I held on to a myriad of grudges. When this did not…
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vrede
‘n memory 7 September 2010 Tydens worship kry ek goud, burned amber en new season. Iemand sing saam met my. Halleluja harmoniseer en dit tref my diep. My hart sing saam sonder dat daar ‘n noot uit my mond kom. Ek praat met die Here en sê vir Hom dat my hart sing vir Hom.…
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kronkelpad
Ek het altyd gedink dis moeilik om die lewe vas te hou… om jouself en jou goed veilig te hou. Dit is nie waar nie. Die moeilike dae is die oop-hand-dae… die vandag-laat-ek-alles-gaan-dae Let go… Klein woordjies met groot betekenis. Ek kyk nie meer om nie… behalwe as ek wil lag, of huil oor hoe…
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taking time out
I loved my grandmother. She understood me – all of me. When my mom came down on me with sharp stinging words, she was the one that gave me a reassuring pat on the leg. When the dark clouds of my mom’s depression engulfed our home and I heard Strauss Waltzes coming down the driveway,…
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terloops…
Don’t ever save anything for a special occasion being alive ís the special occasion Onderstebo. Dis hoe jy my na die lewe laat kyk. Uit ‘n ander hoek. Jy is die tweede kind, ek het gedink ek weet alles. Jy is my verrassing, my joy wat ek laag vir laag kan skil. Agter my en…
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tweestryd
Ek wou diep gaan grawe Mooi woorde oopkrap My klip-lippe inspan Om lofprysings te sing. Maar voor ek my kon kry Slaan alles toe soos ‘n boek. Ek sit myself laaste op die lys, Seker omdat ek self ‘n ma is En weerloos oop voor al my eie foute staan. (12 April 2015) As dit…
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sanity
School holidays in our home were happy times. I allowed the children to build blanket houses underneath the dining room table and Lego cities all over the lounge carpet, tables and chair armrests. Days would go by with them playing, continuing their stories, army attacks and space missions. Then, out of the blue it would…
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woorde
mens moenie so ontevrede wees met jou seisoen nie as jy weer kyk is als verby en dan is jy werklik gelukkig, as jy ná die tyd kan sê dit is goed ek moes iets leer 10 November 2014 Ek kan nie sê dat ek ma ooit verstaan het nie, en tussen ons lê dae,…
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the accident…8 May 2014
You stood at the gate. Unexpected. And in one instant I knew something was very wrong. My brain grabbed bits and pieces and tried to make sense. Your eyes called me closer to the gate. I heard my own words falling and bouncing, but it was the tone of your voice that pulled me into…
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powerless
The Beginning We build our own prisons, and carry them around. We bang our heads against heavy bars, and silently cry out for help. Some manipulative moves force us to our knees and we become immovable objects, trapped in the misery of our circumstance. I felt like a caged bird. Trapped. Powerless. What does it…
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denial
We construct walls around ourselves and our secrets, disable our feelings for fear of being found out by others. It is the war within that causes the most damage. The lies we tell ourselves, the discord between our hurting hearts and the facade we keep to the outside world. It takes courage and despair to…
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‘n memory…24 Mei 2011
Dit is hoe dit is met keuses…jy besluit en gaan saam. Oor die afstand van die parkeerarea is beweging en dit is nogal vreemd vir ‘n vroeë Saterdag-oggend by dié plek. Ons bondel die ‘props’ onder ons arms in en daar kom die mooie kind aangeloop met ‘n moewiese tas op wieletjies. Hulle vra ons…
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awakening hope
There are days when I think back on those hopeless moments. Subtle reminders of despair. A smell or a sound will trigger an avalanche of memories, and in an instant I am aware of the brutal journey, the countless adjustments and realignments that brought me to this day. It is only now, standing on a…
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Hello world!
It wasn’t until I stepped into the everyday rituals of my life with a different lens that I was able to see the potential for joy in the ordinary.